No Respect Given, No Respect To Give
by Son Rhandi
Summary: Escape is the name of the game as No Respect (the Gruesome Threesome) makes theirs from prison. Sort of a backstory to the Ultimate Muscle Challenge.


**Disclaimer: ** Damn, this is the best one I've done in a while! Givin' props to Yudetamago, Toei Animation, 4Kids Productions, and all the rest for this Kinnikuman/Ultimate Muscle shizzle! For rizzle! I don't own nizzle!

**Notes: **

**1. **rônin**- **a masterless samurai. They refer to Hanzou as a samurai in the show, but seeing as he serves no one but himself, this would be the more appropriate term. Don't know if there's any validity to the samurai claim, but I'll worry about it if/when it comes up.

**2. **No Respect = Gruesome Threesome.

****

No Respect Given, No Respect to Give

**By Son Rhandi**

His gleeful cackle was drowned out by the wail of the sirens, the ends of his turban flowing freely in the cold night wind. Fork and Hanzou followed close behind, both equally thrilled to be outside those prison walls. After months of scheming, they'd finally initiated, escaping under the cover of darkness. They had planned and reviewed every day for three months during mess time, careful to keep their voices hushed under the ever-sharp ears of the prison guards. The alliance itself was perfect-- Fork the Giant: the brawn, a little on the dumb side, but easily controlled. Hanzou: fast and furious, could get in and out of situations quickly and efficiently, and smart enough to know a good deal when it came along. And then himself, the brain, the lone Bone Cold. From the day they'd locked him behind bars, he was planning his escape. A manipulative fellow with a reputation that well proceeded him, recruiting those two required little effort on his part.

Slipping out of his cell had been a breeze. Must have been a rookie on guard, he figured. The moron hadn't kept the shackles on him for the night, so slipping his hand through the bars was cake. All that was left was to strangle the guard and have at the security pass so that he could release Hanzou and Fork, as well. Granted, the method wasn't in the original plan, but any break he could get was a welcome one.

The first step was to hit the weaponry room. Hanzou's sheath, scarf, and shuriken were kept there, as well as Fork the Giant's transform component, artfully uninstalled upon his capture. The memory of his blade kept Bone Cold working diligently on the scheme. He still had his eye patch, an item whose secret only he knew, a technological wonder. He'd gauge the power of the guards stationed there and send one of their three to take them out accordingly. When the time came, it was Bone himself who disabled the two guards there, simply choosing to disarm and render unconscious rather than kill; that would have taken too much time. He and Hanzou rushed in, swiping only what belonged to the trio and making off to join Fork at the end of the hall. Bone insisted on holding onto Fork's device until they saw their way out, knowing that he'd want to transform as soon as it was reinstalled which would have resulted in a lot of noise and ultimately giving them away. The next destination was to the back way where the garbage was picked up. Hanzou went ahead of them, he being the stealthiest character, flipping shuriken after shuriken, disabling the security cameras to keep their status unknown.

Coming up on the bend, they slowed their advance, hearing the voices of other around the corner. Bone Cold crept to the wall's end, spying a few soldiers supervising the backing-up of a trash ship. Not very many guards, about five, but the corpse's concern lay with the garbage men. If they were to escape……

"Hanzou, with me."

"Yes."

"Fork, the truck."

"All right!!"

Taking off like the devils they were, they began the assault. Bone and Hanzou rushed the guardsmen, the corpse man stabbing one in the side and the rônin slashing the eyes of two with the use of his soul blade. Fork the Giant, that old cyborg, wasted no time, barreling to the ship's pilots and silencing their fearful screams by ramming his fist straight through the side window, then pulling out to smash the top of the cab to insure their deaths. Still two soldiers to go. They'd have to move quickly before they could call for back-up. 

Casting a glare at the remaining two, who clutched their spears in a wavering uncertainty, Bone Cold unleashed his Shooting Arrow, jutting his blade, already stained with the blood of his comrades, into the soldier's neck. His armored body fell with a heavy thud to the floor. Soldier 2 gave a little yelp and fell back, scrambling for his radio. "This is Sinew in disposal! Escapee ambush! Requesting back-up! 

Reques—" 

"Sit down!!" Fork came up on him, taking the soldiers entire head in his monstrous palm, then proceeded to whip the poor man's body around and smash his skull to the floor, ending his life. "Yea-hea-heah! Freedom!" The cyborg roared in delight, shaking the blood from his hands.

"Good work, men," Bone congratulated while retracting his arm. "It took a load of planning and patience, but we pulled it off!"

As if on cue, their ears filled and the corridor echoed with the wails of sirens. Bone Cold cursed the event, looking around with ire-filled eyes for some sort of oversight. ……There! In their haste, not a one of them noticed the security camera overhead..! 

"Damn! Hanzou! Fork! Let's move!" 

They made hast to the open gate through which the trash vessel had passed, leaving the bodies of the dead to rot. Fork searched left, Hanzou spied right, and Bone looked straight ahead. ……Good. All clear. Setting off, they had a good head start. The masked rônin caught two cameras mounted at the back gate, so it was those bastard guardsmen's guess as to which way they could have went. The beach awaited them, polluted like the hearts of the inmates. Flotsam washed up on the shore regularly, so it was left to the convicts to clean and dispose of it in addition to their sentence. In the second month since his capture, Hanzou thought to salvage the most usable pieces to build a small boat, a ticket off the island. He'd dug a deep pit where the beach grass met the sand and stashed the debris there. Then Bone Cold approached him, speaking of 'self-gained freedom,' and a duo was formed. Fork the Giant came up on them during the outdoor regimen one day. How he could have gotten wind of their plan, they hadn't a clue...

"Hey! You guys got a plan to get us out o' here?"

They cut him in on the deal in exchange for his silence, failing to mention that there was no way in hell the makeshift boat could ever hold his weight. It was fine, Bone figured. Once they got his transform component back for him, he could figure his own way off the island, or a way to stay afloat, at least.

He could smell the salt-water already. He could even make out some beach grass way on the horizon on that starless night. The ocean wasn't far off. They ran and ran and ran, a full moon glowing overhead, their only light. The terrain became softer as they progressed, feet sinking a bit and traction more difficult. Sand! All that was left was to find Hanzou's hold and construct the vessel by dawn. Soon, No Respect would have their day.

No Respect: A title unanimously agreed on for the trio. It summed up their entire lives in those two little words. Bone Cold, who had never known compassion or kindness, Hanzou, whose childhood was burned away by blazing meteor fire, and Fork the Giant, the mechanized slave… Never a shred of respect throughout their existence. Well, if people had none to give them, then they would give none it return. But even after all these years, they still weren't respected. Rather, they were **feared**. In their minds, however, that was good enough. The swishing and shifting of dried vegetation filled their ears. Yes! The beach grass! So close, so very close, indeed! When the here slowed to a halt and the grass reached its end, the search for the spot began. "Hanzou, are you sure this is where you buried the scrap?" Bone Cold inquired.

"Do not doubt Hanzou," he replied flatly, clawing at the sand. "They were buried 50 paces from the boulder we passed, and somewhat deeply, at that. The salvage will be uncovered shortly."

"Well, come on, then, man!" Fork whined, his excitement and impatience shining through. "I'm itchin' to get on that boat and off this island!"

"Hah. Try to get on board and you'll end up drowning…" the rônin muttered under his breath.

Scritch, scritch…

His nails raked against a wooden something. "It is here!" He barked with a semblance of glee, digging out the remaining sand like a dog for its bone. The others watched in anticipation, awaiting the fruits of his labors. And when Hanzou pulled up the first wooden plank, the glorious smiles of men who realized hard-won self-liberation spread across their faces.

Fork the Giant paraded around like a rooster in its pen, the ground shaking with his delighted hops. "Yahoo! Freedom! Freedom! Guys, we are free men!!" Suddenly, all three lurched back in a sudden pain, brining their hands up to shield their eyes. High beams? They could here numerous footsteps marching from all sides, how many, not a one of them was sure.

**"Did you morons think we wouldn't have the beach protected in case of situations like this?" **A gruff voice blared through a megaphone. **"Prisoners No. 85453, 85499, and 85666, you are surrounded!! Lie down with your hands behind your heads!!"**

Bone Cold just smirked and squared his hands on his hips. "Bastards…" He hissed, keeping a smug look about him. "You strip us of our names, calling us by numbers instead. Then when you break our backs, force us to find a better life outside the iron bars, you insult our intelligence and tell us to lie in the dirt like dogs..?!"

The corpse man took a few steps to his right, turning to face the guards. "Fork the Giant, Hanzou, and myself, the lone Bone Cold… have no respect to give to you……"

Bone retrieved from his pocket a small chip of metal and plastic and tossed it over his shoulder. "Fork, transform for us…"

"All right!!" The cyborg caught the chip in his massive paws, implanting it in a groove on the outside of his right thigh. No Respect Two and Three stood back as his legs converted to treads. 

"Soldiers, attack!!"

Two guardsmen chucked their spears at forklift Fork, easily deflected by Bone Cold's blade and a few of Hanzou's shuriken, coming to his aid. The way clear, forklift Fork barreled through, tearing up the terrain and flying at the enemy full speed. They--that is, the soldiers--split up in different directions to get out of the way, but instead of going straight on to mow one or two down, the colossus made a sharp right, catching four or five men in his new path under his treads, their legs and some the whole bodies flattened, blood gushing out of the sides. 

Hanzou had no time for hesitation. He wrenched the scarf tied round his neck free and folded the corners against his body, setting up for the pinwheel assault. He cut the wind (and the soldiers' limbs), whirling his body through the air, snickering as the sounds of cracking armor and ailing men echoed in his ears. Bone Cold, meanwhile, was having his own fun, slitting throats and knocking out teeth as a warm-up. These guys may have been tough, but they were no Chôjin, not like the men of No Respect. Woo--! Close one..! A soldier came charging at his blind spot, his spear's handle half broken. "Nice try!" Bone sidestepped the assault and plunged his blade into the man's side, making a mental note to have his weapon cleaned when they reached the mainland. 

It wasn't long before all the armored men lay dead at their feet, the sands coated red. Bone Cold shut off the floodlight and knelt to the pit. "Keep digging," he addressed Hanzou, scooting one of the bodies away with his foot. Hanzou continued with Bone's help, digging their hands in the red sand. And when it was done, they uncovered a proud piled of plywood at their disposal. Fork eyed the mess of scrap confusedly. "Hey guys..." He began. "That little bit gonna build a boat or raft or whatever big enough for all of us?"

The corpse and rônin exchanged glances, trying to keep from laughing at his naivety, but Bone slipped, letting out a chortle and quickly covering his mouth with his hands. "What's so funny..?"

That did it. No Respect Two and Three burst into laughter. "Hey... I get it..! You guys **knew** that there wouldn't be enough room for all of us, didn't you..?!"

"Well, what did you expect?" Bone managed between laughs, wiping a tear from his eye. "Did you really think we could ever find enough driftwood to fit you in comfortable **and **keep your heavy ass afloat?"

The mecha colossus clenched his fists. They dare trifle with him, using notions of a sorely missed free life, yet? In his rage, Fork the Giant gathered up all they collected in one fell swoop of his paw and tossed it all far out to sea. 

"You moron!!" Bone roared. "How the hell are we supposed to get off this island now?!"

"There's a fishing village near here. I remember seeing it when I was being escorted to the prison," Fork replied calmly. "If we follow the coastline north, we'll come to it. We can steal a ship and get to the mainland. And by 'we' I mean 'all three of us'..."

"That information could have saved us **weeks** in planning! Why did you not say something sooner?" Hanzou inquired in a growl. 

"You didn't ask......" The cyborg narrowed his eyes. "How far do you think you would have gotten once the wood was dug up, anyway? What did you have to use to hold your raft together, hmm? I don't remember seeing any rope or twine or anything like that. And even if you had anything, the ocean is treacherous and doesn't have much love for shabby rafts... or things made of metal, for that matter." Fork put a hand on his head and let out a forced chuckle. "Face it: if I hadn't thrown away that driftwood, I'd be on my way to that village right now and you two would be fish bait."

The corpse stewed silently. How dare that bucket of bolts insult his great scheme! Although there had been a ring of truth in his words... He hadn't really stopped to think just how they'd construct a seaworthy vessel... "Che. Whatever..." Bone hissed. "Let's just get to this place while it's still dark."

They followed the coastline to the village Fork the Giant spoke of, a place the size of a shoebox. Night still upon then, they slipped into town while its people slept wrapped in their blankets. No Respect's only blanket was the black of the night, steadily becoming thinner with each passing minute. Dawn was galloping toward them, two hours more till the sun was due to rise. The trio stole away to the docks, several large ships at their disposal. Bone Cold motioned for Hanzou to accompany him in scouting the ship of their choosing: a narrow, mid-sized ship with three large sails, looking to be easy to handle. Fork stayed behind, concealing himself behind some large crates on the pier, though not doing a very good job of it.

Two and Three hopped on board, quietly landing on deck. Bone dropped to all fours, feeling about for a hatch to take them to the lower deck. ...There! He flipped the hinged cover over, revealing a stairwell. The two made their way down, keeping tight to the banister and taking careful steps. With what little light available, the corpse man spied lanterns on either side of the corridor. "Ah, what luck. Lanterns..." Bone took the one on his left. He dug in his pocket for his matches--the man was a casual smoker, if there was such a thing. Momentarily placing the lantern on the floor, he struck a match, its little flame burning brightly. Hanzou took a step back, eyeing the lit match warily.

"Here." Bone Cold tossed his ally the book of matches, the rônin clumsily fumbling it in his hand. "Light the other lamp," he commanded, lifting the glass cover on his and lighting in. Hanzou's hands began to shake. Every time his eyes saw fire, he relived that horrible night, the night of 1000 meteors, the night he lost his face, his innocence... 

"There." The gray one took his lamp in hand. "Ready?" He asked, looking over his shoulder to the one donning the mask. Hanzou took a hard swallow, his quivering hands still clutching the matches. "What's wrong?" Bone asked with a minimum of concern. "Light the lantern so we can have a look around." 

"I... I... can't......" Hanzou lowered his head.

"Can't strike a match, eh? Well, here. You take this lamp and lead." Bone held the lantern up to the masked man. 

"NO!!" Almost instinctively, the rônin slapped the lamp out of Bone Cold's hands. It landed on the floor, shattering, its flame snuffed out. Enraged, Bone's hand shot out and pulled the offender to him by his spiked collar. "Moron! If you're not going to make yourself useful, go back topside and stay with Fork!" With that, he threw Hanzou to the ground, then proceeded to light the remaining lantern. Number 2 scrambled up the stairs, relieved to be out of that situation. His annoyance with that coward, Hanzou, still burning steady in him, Bone went forward with the other lantern, lit by his hand, to explore the ship. 

He ignored all the doors in the initial corridor, figuring them all to be the quarters of the shipmates. It was the cargo bay he wanted to find. Deeper towards the ship's stern he came across it, a fairly large room filled with all sorts of crates and barrels, every one unmarked. Choosing one of the larger crates, Bone used his blade as a crowbar, forcing the nails upward and free. Top off, he discovered dried fish, neatly arranged, filling the crate to the brim. There was enough in that one crate to feed them all for a good two weeks. Of course, Bone had no such plan to be out at sea for that amount of time. 

His examination took him to a barrel with a cork stuck at its bottom. He pulled it out enough to let some of its liquid loose, gathering the spill in his hand and tasting of it. _Water._ And the next barrel? _Ale…_ He allowed himself a brief smile. He hadn't enjoyed anything alcoholic in months… Not having a cup or bowl handy, Bone pride the lid off that container, too, and dipped his hand in the brew, drinking happily from it. A bit more wouldn't hurt. He partook of the ale again, almost giddy in his good fortune. Well, before one could say 'I think you've had enough,' he was damned good and drunk. 

Having drank to his satisfaction, Bone clambered out of the cargo bay and back up the stairs whence he came, weaving and bobbing with every step. "Urgh… Hannnzou..?" He called in drunken slur. It was a miracle he made it down the gangplank and back to the dock without falling off. As he wobbled his way back to where they'd left Fork the Giant, the sounds of a struggle filled his ears. It was kind of hard to make out, but he thought he could see Fork up ahead, arms flailing in time as if he was throwing objects one at a time. "Che. Shitheads…" Bone murmured with alcoholic apathy. So, he sauntered right over there, oblivious to the fact that One and Two were being overrun by elite Flex Soldiers.

Fork the Giant was becoming a bit annoyed by this. They had just finished fighting prison guards not too long ago and spent the last two and a half hours walking to this little mud pile of a town. Now they had to fight again..?! And where the hell was Bone Cold? This was getting a little ridiculous. As soon as he threw one soldier off of him, three more would appear in his place..! Growing weary, Fork stuck out his arms and spun on the balls of his feet, flinging what soldiers were on him and knocking down the ones coming at him. He then converted to his forklift mode and proceeded to mow down the warriors at his treads in an echo of hours before, blood splattering his yellow paint job. One soldier, a bearded man, came at him screaming a war cry and leapt for assault. He stuck out his chest prongs--that Fork, grinning evilly-- and punctured his chest with a sickening spurt. The machine beast laughed as the man's blood ran down his prongs.

"Ugh… Topporu…" The soldier choked.

"Bye now!" Fork took the man's face in his massive paw, shoving him back and freeing him from the prongs, his body crumpling on the ground. The machine beast reverted to standard mode and lifted his leg. "No Respect! None at all!" Those were the last words he would ever hear, his skull crushed under Fork's heavy foot.

It was all the same to Hanzou. Five or five-hundred, he'd slaughter them all, perhaps keeping a face or two for his collection. Pinwheel was doing its job, slicing and dicing and showering the dirt with red. These guys were a lot tougher than the prison guards. The crests over their hears bore the symbol of the Kinnikuman Guard, Flex Soldiers. He figured they must have been alerted by the warden. The countryside was probably littered with them by now…

"Haaaannnzoooou!!"

The rônin lifted his head in response. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of Bone Cold waving to him from the pier and coming toward the battle in a casual stroll. In his moment of distraction, the Flex Soldiers jumped him, one at his neck, one for each arm, and two wrapped 'round each leg. With perfect coordination, they bound the masterless samurai in heavy chains and shackles. Hanzou roared in defiance. No..! It wasn't fair! All those months just to be recaptured in less than a day?! He could see that other soldiers were restraining Bone Cold, as well, who didn't appear to be putting up much of a fuss. They brought him with the rônin, weapons pointed at both criminals' necks.

"Bone Cold… Bone-head!! You have ruined us!"

"Sorrrry, Haaanzou…"

Hanzou's face faulted. "Bone Cold… You reek of booze……" 

The corpse man grinned a drunken grin. His attentions were grabbed by a figure in the near distance. Fork the Giant was still fighting. "Hey, Fork! Fork!!" Bone called to him.

"Huh?"

Damn! Another lapse… With the back of his neck exposed, a single Flex Soldier lept, taser in each hand, and put the voltage to the cyborg. Fork groaned in pain, his voice quaking with the shock of electricity. A plume of black smoke came from his mouth, and his top-heavy half fell forward, the giant collapsing. Hanzou just looked on, slack-jawed. Tasers?! Where did those come from?! Well, in any case, they were defeated. He was chained, Fork the Giant was shorted out, and the lone Bone Cold? Plastered……

______________________

"NO RESPECT!!"

_Arrgh, those damned high beams again!_ The trio of No Respect scrunched their eyes as tightly as they could, turning their heads away from the intense, white light. 

"YOU ARE CHARGED WITH ESCAPING FROM MUSCLE PLANET PENITENTIARY, ATTEMPTED GRAND THEFT MARINE, AND 161 COUNTS OF FIRST-DEGREE MURDER! HOW DO YOU PLEAD?"

"Get that light out of my face…" Bone Cold whined. "Ooh… I've forgotten what a hangover feels like… Ugh…"

"AGAIN, HOW DO YOU PLEAD?"

"I plead…" Fork the Giant gave the interrogator the finger. "Birdie! Bwa ha ha ha hah!!"

"Perhaps I can be of some assistance?"

They suddenly found themselves without the offender light and the pleasantry of indirect lighting in the form of a ceiling lamp presented itself. A miniscule, green-skinned man bearing his weight on a staff stood before them, a wide smile spread across his face. "No Respect, eh? A peculiar name for a group of ruffians such as yourselves…"

"And who might you be, small man?" Hanzou gave a little chuckle.

"The question is, who are you not?" The three looked back at him quizzically. "The answer is free men!"

No Respect had just that for his joke, one in poor taste. "What's your name, shorty?" Fork growled.

"What's yours?"

"They call me Fork the Giant."

"Then I am called Minch."

Bone Cold instantly became attentive. Minch? Did he say Minch? _So… That's him, eh? After all these years, this is the father of the managerial genius, Meat… _He had gotten an offer some three years ago--a handsome reward attached--to find and kill this olive-skinned Minch before him. Eradicate the father and the bloodline dissipates, with no chance of additional prodigies to be spawned... Bone rested his chin on interlocked fingers, allowing himself a sidelong smile.

"So," Minch continued. "Would you three like a shot at freedom?"

Now there were all listening. "What do we gotta go?" The cyborg inquired.

"I'm sure you know that Kinnikuman has a son. If you want to live your lives outside iron bars ever again, you'll fight him in the ring and win. It won't be easy, but as they say, you can't make omelets without a chicken to do the hard part. So, what do you say?"

"I say you've got yourself a deal, old timer," Bone gave an aggressive little grin. First, he'd win his freedom by trouncing Kinnikuman's bastard son. Then, he'd get his pay by shooting his blade straight into the old man's heart. They finally pleading guilty to the charges, the three were escorted to their cells without incident, awaiting the day when they could win their freedom in trashing Mantaro Kinnikuman. 

~Lanterns of ice,_____ hearts of ice, _ no respect, none at all.~

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End file.
